Feeling lonely as an adult

At a point in my life, I struggled a lot to meet people I connected with. Don’t get me wrong, I met some amazing people that I still keep in contact with to this day. But I just didn’t see the relationship going further, I actually considered most of the people I would hang out with, at the time, as acquaintance . Anyways, I ended up being alone most of the time. At first, I was bothered by it , I really was… but as time went by, I started enjoying being alone , to the point where, even when I met people I connected with , I still wanted to be by myself because I enjoyed my company more. This newly discovered lifestyle ,inevitably affected my long distance friendships because all I really wanted was to be by myself. I enjoyed it too much. Along the line, I began to realized how disconnected I was from a lot of things and a lot of people that I knew and that is when the feeling of loneliness started to set in. Obviously there were there factors but this is just a highlight of my experience.

I was on reddit the other day and someone asked ‘What was the moment you realized you’re lonely?’. This reminded me of a point in my life where I not only realized I was lonely, but I truly felt lonely. So, it was interesting to see some of the answers on that post. This is the link . I could relate a lot to what some people said, some I found sad and some were actually funny.


When I was in a room full of people and felt like I was invisible. No one bothered to talk to me or even say hello.-Commenter A

Not related but shout to all the introverts out there!

When I recently went to a funeral and it was hands down the most fun social activity I’ve had in years.-Commenter B

This comment reminds me of some funeral parties in Nigeria They invite a DJ , bring food and drink and actually have a swell time while celebrating the life of someone old that has passed on.

Nobody I invited to my birthday party talked to me. They grouped up and talked to each other or my brother, and when I tried to start conversations I was quickly pushed out of them. This happened for 3 years in a row…-Commenter C

When I would go off the grid for days, sometimes weeks in a deep depression and no one seemed to notice…..no calls or texts. It was like I didn’t exist.-Commenter D

I don’t know. Just sometimes I don’t feel like I fit in with some groups of people. And when I look back I feel what I don’t know those people, I don’t know what they like, or what their favourite food are, or what they think of something. Don’t know if you understand. It feels like some kind of wall.-Commenter E

Honestly to round off, I think when people are going through certain situations in their life, they tend to think that they are the only ones going through it and no one else knows how it is to be in that situation. And that is true. You are not them, they are not you. Your loneliness is not the same, your situation may be similar but it is not the same so you can’t possibly know how it feels to be their shoes. The point I am trying to make is that we are all so similar yet different…and that you actually have no business wearing someone elses’ shoes-without consent.

Okay that’s it for this post, see you in the next one!

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