Feeling lonely as an adult

At a point in my life, I struggled a lot to meet people I connected with. Don’t get me wrong, I met some amazing people that I still keep in contact with to this day. But I just didn’t see the relationship going further, I actually considered most of the people I would hang out with, at the time, as acquaintance . Anyways, I ended up being alone most of the time. At first, I was bothered by it , I really was… but as time went by, I started enjoying being alone , to the point where, even when I met people I connected with , I still wanted to be by myself because I enjoyed my company more. This newly discovered lifestyle ,inevitably affected my long distance friendships because all I really wanted was to be by myself. I enjoyed it too much. Along the line, I began to realized how disconnected I was from a lot of things and a lot of people that I knew and that is when the feeling of loneliness started to set in. Obviously there were there factors but this is just a highlight of my experience.

I was on reddit the other day and someone asked ‘What was the moment you realized you’re lonely?’. This reminded me of a point in my life where I not only realized I was lonely, but I truly felt lonely. So, it was interesting to see some of the answers on that post. This is the link . I could relate a lot to what some people said, some I found sad and some were actually funny.

Answers:

When I was in a room full of people and felt like I was invisible. No one bothered to talk to me or even say hello.-Commenter A

Not related but shout to all the introverts out there!

When I recently went to a funeral and it was hands down the most fun social activity I’ve had in years.-Commenter B

This comment reminds me of some funeral parties in Nigeria They invite a DJ , bring food and drink and actually have a swell time while celebrating the life of someone old that has passed on.

Nobody I invited to my birthday party talked to me. They grouped up and talked to each other or my brother, and when I tried to start conversations I was quickly pushed out of them. This happened for 3 years in a row…-Commenter C

When I would go off the grid for days, sometimes weeks in a deep depression and no one seemed to notice…..no calls or texts. It was like I didn’t exist.-Commenter D

I don’t know. Just sometimes I don’t feel like I fit in with some groups of people. And when I look back I feel what I don’t know those people, I don’t know what they like, or what their favourite food are, or what they think of something. Don’t know if you understand. It feels like some kind of wall.-Commenter E

Honestly to round off, I think when people are going through certain situations in their life, they tend to think that they are the only ones going through it and no one else knows how it is to be in that situation. And that is true. You are not them, they are not you. Your loneliness is not the same, your situation may be similar but it is not the same so you can’t possibly know how it feels to be their shoes. The point I am trying to make is that we are all so similar yet different…and that you actually have no business wearing someone elses’ shoes-without consent.

Okay that’s it for this post, see you in the next one!

The Free Deadline Planner that you need

Hey creatures,

I have officially become the person for the people…on the internet. Okay dramatic much. I just mean I am going to be sharing my deadline planner to people on the internet. I am a huge procrastinator so I designed this template because it allows me to do the bare minimum and still get work done without rushing or feeling guilty of not doing it on time.

So if you’re interested in using it, you can just click the link below to download it.

Deadline Planner Template One

Deadline Planner Template Two

My blog anniversary. I can’t believe my baby is 1 year old.

I can’t believe that my baby is a one year old. Okay, I can believe it but it’s just an expression. I CAN’T BELIEVE MY BABY IS ONE YEAR OLD!!!. I am truly happy about it and to celebrate, I bought a cake…well, cheesecake.

I have been enjoying the Toffee cheesecake lately and my anniversary was a perfect excuse to buy it again.

Let’s do a mini flashback on my first posts on my blog

First post on Just a taste.

First post on Wins day

First post on Thinkers Thoughts

Okay that’s it for this post. Happy 1 year anniversary to me!

Solving student Problems on Reddit

Hey Creatures!

Today’s post is all about student problems. I thought it would be a great Idea to source out student problems on Reddit and solve them on my blog. I’ll be giving advice based on personal experience , as always. So let’s get into it.

How do I catch up at Uni?

I think a great way to deal with this is by creating a to-do list for the week. Pick two days in week and a non-negotiable time period to focus on school work. Try to get through two topics per week so you can catch up on past work. You will have to do this while staying up to date with your current school work so you don’t fall behind.

Look for summaries on all the topics/work online from your subject. On YouTube there are a lot of educational videos on there that summarize or give detailed lectures on topics , so start there. It’ll give you a quicker understanding of what you missed and some topics on your syllabus. To increase your engagement just ask questions. If you’re as behind as you say you are, then you probably have a lot of questions.

‘I have no motivation to do anything’

I was literally here a couple weeks ago. I even posted about it (Dealing with lack of Motivation| Short rant…). Feeling this way every now and again is normal. I would advice you to talk to your personal tutor(if you have one at your college or university) and see if there are any student resources in your University that may help. Such as Counselling, Mental health support, academic writing e.t.c. Also, to avoid missing classes, I suggest you go to school or Library in the morning and don’t return home until your classes are finished for the day or till you’ve done something academically productive. I struggle with this as well, but I find that going to the campus helps me to be more productive and not miss classes. Also, If you have any friends on your course, maybe studying and doing your assignment at the same time will help you remain accountable. Demotivation, I believe is a more mental than physical. So I feel you need to inform you university advice team to get help. Good luck!

‘Take rough notes or thorough notes?’

As someone that prefers paper , I always do rough notes because all the lecture resources are available online to look at after the class. I know Lecturers recommend you look through your notes after the class. I think it has to do with prolonging your memory on the topic or something like that… but this is completely up to you.

Side Bar: Is it just me but I can’t take detailed notes and pay full attention in class? I feel I will miss out on too much because the Lecturer would have rambled on while I’ll be stuck on one sentence he said 10 mins ago.

‘Someone help me with my Housemates’

My advice to approaching them is to write out everything you want to say to them and how you feel about the whole situation or you could make a voice recording of what you want to say-just like this post you have made but just write it ,directing it to them. Then send it to them. I highly recommend taking pictures of the mess and messaging them individually or on a group chat/ Just to make sure you have proof that you have talked to them about this.

Wait it out for about two weeks to see the outcome. If nothing happens then inform your accommodation provider and send your evidence to them so they can sort it out. You can also see other accommodation advice here (My practical advice for foreign students living in a shared accommodation)

‘How do I start my university assignment that I’ve been putting off for three years?’

If you’re struggling to write, Don’t. There are other alternatives. You can record yourself talking about it and transcribe it . Make a video recording and type it out. Finish the essay in whatever format is easier for you and type it out or dictate it to get written down on Microsoft Doc.

You can finish a 4000 word essay in 2 weeks, if you keep calm and get about 400 words down a day. If you can, find a study buddy, someone with a deadline they’re working towards. They’re a lot of people with deadlines and Uni. Set up a Study Date, hopefully this will motivate you.

Side Bar: I remember writing in one of my posts about how, some universities don’t take into account many different assessment styles that suits students and I hope to see a change soon(University Deadlines are approaching).

Okay that’s it for today.

If you are a student of any capacity, this is your time to shine and share your most problematic student experience.

Things in Europe I did not expect as an International student.

Before coming to Europe, I had visited a couple times when I was younger and I presumed I knew what to expect. However, here are some things I did not expect as an international student studying in Europe.

The very confusing-mostly cold-weather

Prior to me coming here , I had never used or found weather forecast useful. Back home, I believe we have raining season, dry season and Harmattan. Now here I am checking the weather prediction before leaving my room. The thing here is, just when you think it’s really cold, It gets colder. I was really surprised the day it was really cold outside, yet I could feel the heat of the sun. It is really odd.

It gets really dark fast in the winter

This was something that took me a while to get used to and I’m still not used to it. During the winter period , it gets dark very early. I’m talking by around 4pm the sun is no were to be found. This actually messed up by sleeping pattern because I started sleeping by like 6pm.

People smoke a lot

I think this one shocked me the most. Partly because there is a lot of stigma around smoking in the area I grew up in. So It took me aback because my teachers were smoking, my classmates were smoking, there are cigarette bins almost everywhere, there are smoking areas in a lot of institutions AND behind the smoking packet it says SMOKING KILLS.

A lot of homeless people

This is based on my stereotype of Europe though, I guess that is why I did not expect it. There is a certain way a lot of people from western countries talk about most African countries in regards to poverty and homelessness. So I had assumed these countries had no such thing. So I was pretty shocked when I saw a lot of homeless people here. I also think this might be due to the area I live in Europe, but the amount of homeless people I see on a daily basis is shocking.

People refer to Africa as a country

Throughout this post, I have intentionally referred to one country in Europe as Europe when I can. This was inspired by a lot of Europeans(I mean across the the continent not one country), that I have talked to, that refer to one country in Africa as Africa. I find it odd and in certain instances disrespectful. In many of the conversations I have had with Europeans , I have asked them questions about their country but they would somehow reply with a question asking me about Africa. Even though I have clearly stated I am Nigerian. Odd isn’t it?

Anyways that’s it for this post! See you next week!

Stir fried Spaghetti with grilled Salmon

If it isn’t obvious already , I love spaghetti… and fish. Exhibit A, my first food post ever was on Stir fry spaghetti with White fish. Exhibit B, this is my second post on spaghetti AND fish. Exhibit C, you just have to trust my words on your screen.

So yeah this was another quick easy student Dinner. I would say I took around 1 hour(60 mins) to make this-but hear me out. I’m really slow in the kitchen and when I was making this , I was on a call so I was somewhat distracted.

These were the Ingredients I used

  • Spaghetti
  • Salmon Fillet
  • Mixed Vegetable
  • Pasta Sauce
  • Oregano
  • Salt
  • Curry
  • Black Pepper
  • Chili Pepper

I took the less is more approach by using 5 seasoning in this. One of the reason is because if I use too many seasoning then I would have to worry about balancing the taste. So I just threw in some spices that I know I would like and that way I don’t spend that much time on seasoning the food.

Result

I know, I know. The fish looks a little burnt , like I said I was on a call so I was somewhat distracted. Nevertheless, It really did taste nice, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Beauty is also in the eye of the beholder and my eyes are telling me that this looks great!

Rating:4/5

Dealing with lack of Motivation at University| Short rant and poem

I have been struggling with my productivity and my motivation lately. I wanted to start off this year being super driven and working towards certain goals and although I am currently doing working towards my goals, I have just had to constantly push myself to do them. This is affecting my overall work rate and productivity which is making me more demotivated.

My motivation to do anything right now is playing hide and seek, the problem is, I just can’t find it. If you remember , in my first post , I talked about Procrastination and Laziness and sort of understanding the difference and how it relates to me(I am so thankful that my posts are useful to me even months after I post them). Right now, I find myself at a place where my lack of motivation is making me procrastinate , which is also making me act Lazy.

So right now I feel motivated to right a poem(how odd) , to sort of break down my feelings if that makes sense. Disclaimer , if this turns out to be horrible, remember I am not a poet and besides you’re the only one that cares what you think. HOWEVER, if it turns out great then I am a poet, soon to be on the best seller list. Anyways, here we go.

Title: None

where are you?!

the echo’s of a voice

a saddening crack mid-sentence

To see or not to see?

the mind has chosen

not to see

the heart and body say otherwise.

Hmm Picasso, I like it.

To round up, I am honestly looking forward to looking back at this moment and this post and be proud of my self for pushing in these times and I pray God continues to lead me up my path of greatness!!.

I just want to leave this bible verse from Proverbs 3:5-6. It says Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

My Blog Milestone and Reflection. 2021

Just like every other new blogger, I look at my stats a lot , like everyday. Scrolling through WordPress Reader(something I really love doing), I found a post by Lifestyle Season, reflecting on her blog last year. I already planned on posting about my blog growth and milestone on Wednesday wins ,like I usually do, but I liked the format she used .It was more detailed and it gave better insights on her growth. I also used My Blogging Annual Review to break this down as well. So today I will be giving a summary of my blog growth in 2021.

Here we go…

I started my blog in April ,2021 with three categories:

Student Journey now called Studenting (changed in Jan,2022)

Ebitimi Taste now called Just a taste(changed in Jan,2022)

Thriving Thursdays which I later changed to Wins-day/Wednesday wins some days after.

I’ve actually changed this to just ‘Wins day’. The reason for the initial change was because I decided I was going to post on Wednesdays instead of Thursdays. This new change is because I might change my posting days so…yeah.

My blogging schedule was posting every Wednesdays, once a week. In the whole of 2021, I published 11 posts. I had a total of 511 views ,162 visitors and 57 likes .

The views takes into account my other pages like homepage, Blog page, About, contact and archives page. I surpassed 500 views in December 2021, I grew to 14 followers. I published 4 posts in May ,2021. This made it my month with the highest number of published posts. My blog had the highest views ever on October 5 2021 , with a groundbreaking 69 views in one day.

My top three most viewed posts were…

My top three most liked posts were

Here are other Wins in my blog for 2021.

Reflection

I am thoroughly impressed with my growth. I am thankful and humbled by the progress my blog has made even with my inconsistencies in 2021. Like really, I know it may sound odd but I genuinely did not expect people to view my post at all. This was/is like my very own private hobby on the Internet.

I am thankful to God, I am thankful to the people that read my posts , people that liked , and people that followed. I have to cackle a bit because it is embarrassingly funny and impressive at the same time. Out of 38 posts expected, I posted 11 . Based on this , you would be able to have a rough predictions of what my numbers would have possibly been , if you triple my current stats. Now that’s crazy.

Another reason why I am impressed is because these figures were from strangers. I kept this blog from family and friends (my decision), so It really amazes me to see what I have been able to achieve on my own. I am disappointed I wasn’t able to remain consistent. I already talked about how I felt in my previous post. Click here to view. It makes me wonder how much bigger my blog would have been if I remained consistent.

Moving Forward: Letter to myself

One of my goals in 2022 is to remain true to myself, and continuously write posts that reflect that. Also, I want to be more personal on my posts especially in the studenting section. I think it’s important that I give advice from my personal experience, which I do but I want to give off a ‘me to you’ vibe instead of a ‘me to all of you’ vibe, if that makes sense😅.

Another thing, I want to post twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays,but I know I am not ready because of other commitments I have with Uni and other extracurricular activities. So I’m hoping by next year, I will be ready to explore that.

I wish myself, Ebitimi Creates, all the people that have viewed , will view and are currently viewing Ebitimi Creates , the best of the year 2022!

One more thing! If you read this till the end(this is the end), Thank you . BTW Today is the last Wednesday of the month and I would like to celebrate that I have posted every wednesday in January. *Pats myself on the back*. Super proud of my consistency.

See you in February, the month of love.

Okay one more thing for the last time!Do you have any advice for bloggers,like myself, trying to be consistent? Drop it in the comments!

Temporary Suspension of this Category| Special Saturday

I’m temporarily suspending posting in this section. Goodbye.

Okay, I have the urge to leave the post as it is with that statement but I can’t help my self! I have to write just a little bit more. As you already know I am a student, if you didn’t , then you must be new here. Welcome!, I’m trying to break up with my blog…temporarily. If you’re not new here, Welcome back!

Anyways, with the workload I have right now, I’ve decided to not post on Thinkers Thoughts for a while. I have my three other sections and they don’t take up as much of my time as this section so it’s best to put this on pause for a while.

I don’t know when this would be back but you’ll know when you see another post from here after this. As much as I am trying to remain consistent this year, I can’t kill my self on top one section of my whole blog.

So yeah, you can look at other great posts I have and If you care, you can subscribe to see the next post that I’ll post after this.

Good Bye this time…temporarily.

The Young Shall Grow |Transition from Studenthood to Adulthood| Blog Changes

I started this blog to remain accountable and to be consistent in something , I didn’t know how much I would fall in love with my hard work and the effort I put in. It has become an important part of my weekly routine and I think it’s especially odd because even with over 2000 views and soo many likes on this blog, I still think that I am my only reader, or the only one that matters anyway.

Keep reading

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Accommodation Advice for University students and International students.

Searching for the right accommodation , I would say, is one of the most important decisions students can make for their future and University experience . I have lived in my fair share of student accommodations in the UK, so I can attest to this. So far, I have three main advice to give. Take it or leave it , your choice.

1. Choose based on your personality and Lifestyle

Bad Neighbor Cinema GIF by Nordisk Film - Vi elsker film
You don’t want to be this person

This should be an obvious advice. If you like your space and privacy, consider getting a studio or a one bedroom apartment. Also consider this if you want to meet new people but at the same time like your space and privacy, you can meet new people at societies, clubs and other social events. If you don’t like strangers, considers living with friends and family. If you like people and want to constantly engage with people, consider living in a shared flat or a shared house. For international students, this is especially important, because depending on how easily you integrate with University life, you might spend a lot of time in your room.

2. Choose based on your travel preference and Priorities

walking exercise GIF by Xyngular

This one is important because it affects your daily living expenses. If you have a car, then asides from parking fees, you’re good. However, for the people that their car is their legs, this is important. If you live far from the Grocery stores and shopping center, you may have to walk far or take public transports -which is not free. You may end up ordering in more or over-buying due to long distance of basic amenities, which is not necessarily a bad thing until your food start spoiling and you have to throw them out and buy more. Just me?. okay . From personal experience, I went from being neighbors to one of the cheapest groceries stores in the UK , to being neighbors to fast food restaurants, as a result I started buying more fast-food because I could not be bothered to walk all the way to the closest grocery story that was much more expensive that my affordable grocery store. Although I did walk there to get get fruits for my Homemade Raspberry and Grape smoothie, view here. Anyways, consider prioritizing, would you rather be close to the university or the city center, would you prefer to live close to grocery stores or Fast food restaurants? Are you willing to take transports to school ? Think about that.

3. Choose at the beginning of the Academic year

rachel cruze whatever GIF by Ramsey Solutions

I mean, start looking for accommodation for the next year at the beginning of the current academic year. This gives you ample amount of time to make a decision and even change your mind. A lot of students make the mistake of waiting till it’s too late and they have to settle. Another suggestion ,although risky, is that you can also target the accommodation you like towards of the beginning of current the academic year. Some accommodations tend to reduce the price because University is starting and they are trying to increase their booking. So if you book close to the resumption dates, the prices might be lower. From experience, I paid £139/week for a £159/week place because they reduced the price when the academic year was starting.

Those are the main three advice I can think of now. I am aware that affordability plays a key role in everything but you still have to make sure you are happy to go back to your accommodation at the end of the day’s work.

Hi

Hi

Korean Drama Hello GIF by The Swoon
(shy wave)

Yes it’s me ,Ebitimi, back here after a couple of months.

To be honest, I have some excuses I can use so I don’t look that bad but I choose to not use them. So we’re just going to act like I never left, Okay? Okay. Thanks for understanding .

Okaay Ok GIF by MOODMAN

Since we’ve sorted that out, let’s move on to more important things like How has everyone been?!

I’ve been mostly great. I’m currently ill so I’m not feeling too great right now but generally I’m fine.

You know living the flashy Uni life, being a city girl , doing hot girl shit , crossing boundaries and breaking generational curses-not like I have any but yeah- and just living life to the fullest!

LIESS

Truthfully, I am alive.

And I think that’s enough of an achievement especially because this year has been ‘year-ing’ like never before and Time is ‘flying so fast, it’s almost suspicious.

SIDE BAR

Do you think the government and scientists are in cahoots to make sure time moves by faster ,so that this whole Corona year can be over and done with? I don’t think that makes sense but it could be a possibility.

Basically, it’s been a ride. A crying-laughing-dirty-clean-hate-love- overwhelming-underwhelming-peaceful-war filled year, but a ride nonetheless. I hope to ride it better than I have been so far. This brings me to another impotortant topic I wanted to talk on.

My accountability.

Honestly, I am disappointed that I was unable to remain consistent in blogging through the summer , although I expected it because there was actually so many things going on. The dissapointment I feel comes fromnot posting or interacring for this long. So my goal is that I don’t stay away for more than 4 weeks , If I have to take a step back for any reason at all.

Okay that’s it from me today. Till Next Post!!

Wednesday Wins: Manifesting a Job Interview

Today’s post will be an update from my previous post. The Student in me is Tired. So it’ll be pretty short.

In the previous post, I expressed my concerns of having sent out over 60 applications but was rejected at the application stage…in all of them. So I rounded up the post by manifesting an interview invite by the end of the week , which I didn’t get . So I hoped for the next week. Well Guess what?

I GOT AN INTERVIEW INVITE.

When I saw it , I think I was preparing for an exam so I was revising. I feel really happy about it. That’s it. I don’t have much to say about it since nothing is for certain . If/when I get it , I will have a lot more to say but for now I’m grateful to God for giving me the the opportunity and guiding me to apply for this company. I hope I get it and/or a better opportunity at a better location.

To round up , I am manifesting.

I am manifesting a message informing me of a successful interview and moving to the next stage of the process by the end of this week. AMEN

I also have to thank everyone for reading and engaging me with my post. I really appreciate it with all my heart.

Thank you!

Wish me luck y’all!